by JJ Meneses
Uneasy experience means an experience that is not easy. That must be the simplest definition of the word. However, if I ask one more thing, what kind of “not easy” of an experience is that? There are many things that are “not easy”. Jumping from the roof top, 8 feet high, that’s not easy. Walking in the streets while being naked, that’s not easy. Making a paper, that’s not easy too. Finish a soup by using a fork, oh that’s not really easy either. Those experiences, again, are not easy but is this what do we mean of “not easy”? Perhaps, thinking it deeply what do we mean of “not easy” is, for it is “not easy”, we always remember it for this kind of “not easy” has helped and improved us to change ourselves better than the past. That would be then an “experience” that is “not easy”, to the point that an experience that is full of hardships, or say, uneasy and thus, memorable. Practice and practice every day for a perfect skill in sports, it’s painful in our bodies and that’s not easy to do. Study and study such many subjects like philosophy books, it’s difficult to understand and lots of patience, and that’s not easy to do. To have a perfect music you need to play that musical instrument every time or your voice as well, you need really to love music, and that’s not easy to do. These things are experiences that are “not easy” but it has helped us and made better, and that’s what we meant of “uneasy experiences”, experiences that are worth memorable.
I, honestly, say that during in the past I’m such a liar. Whenever I’m in a conversation with other people, especially those are newly to me, there will always a moment that I would make myself a star or perhaps, V.I.P of the group. I would make an amazing or cool story, which actually relates in me, that would amazed them how gifted am I. I have many talents, I’m intelligent, I speak Latin words, I’m great at music and many more, as if I know everything. How great am I for I can make them believe in me. I keep doing these things during those times because it gives me more friends that would idolized me because of what I share, and that made me a little star of couple of friends, and until it come to the end point that it became my habit and was started then of my pride. Others would said that pride, somehow, has an advantage, in the way that It gives us confidence. With pride, we know how to stand up and conquer our fears. However, that’s not the pride that I’m keeping of. It is the pride that had thought me to be judgemental. I’m so judgemental to what my five senses could encounter; to the composed music of others, to the baked bread of other bakers, to the decorations or paintings, or to the new gadgets. Perhaps, this is the second one that the pride had thought me, to be jealous. I know those are bad things and not worthy to be a true friend. But how thankful am I, for even though I have this kind of personality “Others” still accepted me and push to change it, my brother seminarians. They remind and correct me always about the bad things I do and appreciate my talents and skills. They have understood me in their whole lives as we go along in our journey in the seminary, and that pushed me to accept what they want me to be, they want me to be good, or, perhaps, better than them. That made me to be open for “Others” for “Others” became opened to me, intersubjective. It’s not easy to change immediately the pride within me for it became part of my “I”, but later on, it changed gradually. Changing some things in yourself is not easy for it’s like a treasure that is so precious to you. It’s uneasy experience. Moreover, for it cannot be fulfilled immediately it will always take time. However, make it consistent when you want something to change within yourself, make it a habit. In me, I gradually took away my pride in me, by controlling myself or reminding my brothers to remind me, and it gone later on. Finally, changing something bad within you is really a good thing, for it makes you more “I”, that is you know yourself more.
Life would always be full of difficulties. If you want to gain something you need to do something about it. It would also be unfair, because there will always the struggle for it, even though everything is provided. Like even you have thousandths of money it cannot buy everything. If you want to aim something then you must strive for it. The value of consistency is very important. Study more to have high grades. Practice to the extreme to be the champion in the sports. Every experienced and you will be experiencing in this world will always be uneasy. Within those uneasiness experiences, you can’t do alone. You need “Others” for victory. You alone is just a pointed nail of the “experience” and “experience” is like a universe, you cannot experience everything in the world but within those limited experiences you have improved. You would not know what will happen but time to time you have discovered many things, and there are such discoveries because of “Others”.
Philo Notes 